Unedited post

Sunday it hit...the dreaded culture shock.  It seemed all day long, nothing I did went as planned and everything around me set me off.  I kept thinking, in Michigan "this" wouldn't be this hard.  I was able to hold it together until the end of the night.  That is when the only thing I could do was cry.  Why was I crying you may ask?  Honestly, I didn't know, but it was the only thing that I could do.

To say I am feeling overwhelmed right now, would be an understatement.  The funny thing is, the things that I would normally be overwhelmed with are comfort to me.  I love being able to curl up in my bed and do homework, or sit for 8 hours straight and produce a video.  These things are easy.  These things I can control.  What I can't control is what overwhelms me!

I love the children at BG.  My heart breaks for what they have walked through, but the overwhelming truth is that they are just kids.  They love to play, laugh, be mischievous, eat and actually take a nap.  Tonight I went and snuggled with one of my little guys.  I love how whenever I walk into his house, he smiles and his eyes shine.  After holding him for awhile, I put him down and saw 4 other pairs of eyes looking at me.  How could I not spend time with each of them too? So I did.  I snuggled and prayed over each child.  Then I walked out of the room and there were 11 other pairs of eye looking at me.  I made sure to hug each child, saying a little pray for each before I walked out of the house.  As I started making my way home, I kept thinking how could I do that for just one house, when we have four.  So I visited the other three houses, hugging and praying for each child.  When I got home, I was overwhelmed with the feeling that even though I just prayed and hugged all of the children, what about the house moms, the care staff, the office staff, the maintenance staff, etc.  Then I thought about the other care centers in Lesotho and their children and the children who have been abandon and are just waiting for someone to find them.  It seems that no matter how love much I give, there is always someone else who needs some love as well.

I love what I do at BG.  I love the staff, the children and the team I serve with, but all too often, I wonder if I am doing enough.  I wonder if I am I giving enough hugs, if I am saying enough prayers, if I am showing those in my path how much God loves them through my actions.  All this is overwhelming and honestly sometimes makes me want to hide and act like I don't know what is going on outside my bedroom.  It all is overwhelming, but it is life.  All over the world there are children whose childhood is stolen from them.  There are people who long to be loved, but seek it in ways that only destroy them.  There are people who are hurting over the loss of a loved one and don't know how to live life with the hole in their heart.

I pray that through every hug, snuggle and prayer, I can bring hope to those I met.  I hope that my heart and body will work together to reach out to those that need an extra amount of God's love.  And I hope that God will fill me with His strength to walk this journey, because my human strength is not enough.

PRAYER REQUESTS
1) The little guy I and others have been feeding is still in the hospital.  Please pray that whatever disease his body is fighting, he can overcome it and return to us.

2) We also have a 3 week old baby that is in the hospital as well.  Pray for him that he can fight the cold he has and return to us.

3) Tomorrow, we will celebrate a "gotcha" day here at BG.  Please pray that for the child and parents who will meet each other.  Pray that their hearts are ready to become a family and that their lives are ready for the adventure God has planned.