The great thing is that in my smallness, God still has a big plan for me. As I stood looking out into the ocean, I thought about the things I have faced, both joys and challenges. I thought about the people I have met and the relationships I have formed. I thought about the family I have been blessed with at BG and how I hope I can reflect them well when I get back to the Untied States. I then got overwhelmed with the task at hand. I am in charge of making sure BG doesn't have to worry about finances. I am striving to make sure that there will never be a month in which we have to go without. Those thoughts built up some major anxiety and I doubt the fact that I was the right person for the job. How can I do anything in this big world?
Then I looked down...
I don't have to concur the world, I just need to impact the ground in which I am standing. I need to remember my "tumelo" or faith in God that brought me to each point along this journey. God doesn't call me to change the whole world, He calls me to be faithful to the places that He puts me. I still get overwhelmed when I think about the funds that I need to raise for BG, but I know that through every step God is saying to me "Be still and know I am God." God has this journey planned out. He knows each step I take and He knows each person who will hear His story through me. It is He who will raise the funds for BG, not me.
I also looked at my feet and reflected on my time in Lesotho. I pray that wherever I walked, people did not see me, but God in me. I pray that every child I held or person I hugged felt the love of God wrapped around them. This journey has been one of extreme joys and extreme sorrow, I hope that through it all, people looked beyond my fleshly emotions and saw my heart.
Tomorrow I say "see you later" to BG. I will be back in January to do this all over again. It is hard to say goodbye to this place, knowing that the next time I step back here, there will be new children and some of my old ones will be gone. The constant "hellos and goodbyes" are hard, but I pray that through each of them, people experienced God's refreshing presence. I pray that with each step, each hug and each hand held, I reflect God in a way that made others feel loved.
Monday I take off out of Maseru and will be back in Michigan Tuesday afternoon. Traveling back home is a long 30 hour journey, including one 18 hour flight. Please pray that everything goes smoothly and that if a hang up happens, I can reflect Christ instead of getting frustrated.
Lord willing, my next blog post will be from Michigan.