Growth

I have been thinking through this blog post since this afternoon.  Today was one of those days when I sat backed and thought "Man have I grown since coming to Lesotho!"  Sit back and hold on to the roller coaster ride of events.

This morning I got up early to take four children to the hospital for doctors appointments.  I used to be very nervous about these trips, now I know what to expect.  First, it will be a long day, so pack snacks and water.  Second, I will have some type of bodily fluid on me by the end of the day.  Today was a special day, because one of the children I was in charge of was "my" little guy that I have been caring for.  Unfortunately, he lost weight again and we are at a cross roads with what to do (more on that later).  After the appointments were done, I looked at my watch and was so excited about how "fast" the morning went.  I actually was going to get back to BG before noon, something that has never happened.  When we got to our car it wouldn't start.  The BG nurse that was with us, sent myself and the house mother along with the four children in a taxi, so the children could have their lunch (FYI, we left for the hospital at 7am, so the children were ready to be home).  The taxi ride was an adventure!  The house mother sat in the front and I sat in the back with all four children.  Let me describe the taxi...

Radio...missing.
Seat belts...missing.
Brakes...missing.
Doors...there, but not working well.

But it was a way to get back to BG, so we took it.  The first "humped zebra crossing" (speed bump) we hit the front passenger door opened and the house mother almost fell out.  I immediately put my free arm (the other one was holding "my" boy) over the three children sitting next to me.  My mind imagined hitting another bump and having the back door open and the children fall out, because there were no seat belts (there also are no car seats in Africa).  As we pulled out of the hospital, the driver stopped at a little road side shop to get lunch and cigarettes, so this delayed us 5 minutes.  As we were on our way, he realized he needed gas, so we stopped for that.  After getting gas, it took him maybe 5km to realize he forgot to get his change from the gas attendant, so back to the gas station we went.  While driving to BG, he spoke in Sesotho to the house mother and I was able to understand about every third word.  He looked back at me and told me he loved me very much.  I shocked him when I looked at him and said "thank you" in Sesotho.  He then told me that since I spoke Sesotho, he was going to marry me.  I told him (in English) that he needed to talk to my mother who was sitting next to him.  The house mother then looked at him and told him that if he was going to marry me, he needed to pay her 250 cattle, 100 sheep and 40 goats.  He said I was too expensive, but didn't have a problem yelling to people that we passed that he was driving his "white wife" around town.  He then made two more stops on the way to BG, for air time (cell phone minutes) and to chat with a friend (about his white wife).  We made it back to BG at 12:15 with a great memory!!!

After getting the children to their houses, I kept thinking about the morning and laughed at how none of the events seemed to upset me.  I am used to long waits at doctors appointments.  I am used to broken down cars.  I am used to crazy taxi rides.  In January, I probably would have been more upset, but now I see it as "normal."  Growth.

This afternoon, the nurses at BG started a feeding tube in "my" little guy.  I am glad we have the ability to do this at BG, so he doesn't have to go to the hospital again.  In January, seeing him with a tube out of his nose and both his hands wrapped up to prevent him from pulling out the tube, would have upset me, today I just held him in my arms and carried him around campus like there was nothing wrong.  After his first feeding, his body was not too excited, so there was diarrhea everywhere (refer to second lesson in hospital day adventures), so he and I was also covered in poop.  It didn't bother me at all, in fact I made sure he was completely cleaned up and started hand washing his clothes before I took care of myself.  Growth.

You see, it is hard for me to describe Lesotho to people.  I want to be able to tell you the cries of my heart, but I can't. I am at a loss for words when it comes to my emotions.  In 19 days I will board a plane and head back to Michigan.  If is wasn't for the excitement of seeing my family and friends, I might extend my stay in Lesotho.  The past few weeks, I have felt "normal" here.  Of course things still shake me, but I have a new confidence in approaching those situations, because I know that God has already approached them for me.  Of course there are moments when I can't control my emotions and it only takes 2 seconds for me to go from laughing to crying or vice versa, but that is life in Lesotho.  Life is unpredictable and you just need to deal with whatever comes your way.

Living in two very different places is going to be an interesting adventure.  I feel like I finally have the "secrets" of living in Lesotho down, and now it is time for me to head to America, where things seem scary, but I am sure that after 6 months there, Lesotho will seem scary again and American will see safe.  I have had some time the past week to really think about what I am anxious about when I think about home (Michigan).  I am excited to see everyone who mean so much to me and just sit back and relax.  I am excited to start traveling and introducing people to BG that have no idea where Lesotho is.  But, I am anxious about the questions people will ask, like "How are you?" or "How was your trip?"  It is hard to describe my last 5 months and honestly most days I do not know how I am doing, but I pray that through every conversation and through my time spent with those I love in the States, God will provide for me the words to use in explaining this journey to others.  He knows who is willing to listen to my processing heart and mind.  I also pray for patience for those listening that they will be able to hear what God has used me for and how He did great things in Lesotho through some great and not so great times.

Friends, please join me in praying for "my" little boy.  He is at BG, but like I said on a feeding tube.  We are praying that in a week's time, we can fatten him up and help him get stronger.  We need to go back to the hospital next week Wednesday to see if we made any progress.  He needs the family of God, praying for him!