A New Church

Okay friends, here is the thing, for the past few weeks, I haven't slept much. About a month ago the Lord imprinted something on my heart in a big way and I just haven't been able to shake it. It seems everywhere I go, the people I talk to, the books I read, the verses I dwell on all have one thing in common. So I ask that you hang with me during this blog post. Somethings may make sense, some may not, but I really want to try and express to you my heart and what I have been digesting because I feel an urgency in me to share the truth to those I know because time is precious.

About a month ago I found myself in the back of a limo with a group of friends. We were going to get tattoos and then have dinner. It was a night set aside to celebrate life and be a community. As we were heading home, I took a minute to sit back and observe. My heart was pounding, not out of anxiety but out of joy. I felt like I was at church. That night I posted this on Facebook...

"With each step of the journey, I am discovering that I have over thought what community is. Each day I am learning that community is riding in a limo on a Tuesday night just because you can. It is making memories and starring circumstances in the eye and not allowing them to steal your joy. It is holding your sister's hand no matter what is ahead and never letting go. 

When it comes down to it, it is simply loving God and loving others. Everything else is pointless."

Loving God and loving others. That is what life is all about. Jesus said it over and over again.

"'Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?' And he said to him, 'You shall love the Lord you God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.'" (Matthew 22:36-40, ESV)

The greatest commandment is to love God. The second is like it, love each other.

"A new command I give to you, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples if you have love for one another." (John 13:34-35, ESV)

People will only know we are God's disciples if we love.

"This is my commandment, that you love another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another." (John15:12-17, ESV)

We have been chosen by God to love and in loving it means we will do anything for those around us.

Here is the thing friends, I have been in church my whole life. When things are hard, I go to church. When there are moments to celebrate, I go to church. Friday morning I had some free time and where did I go, you guessed it, church. I sat in the empty sanctuary with a guitar and worshiped. Church is comfort for me, but what I am discovering in myself, is that I have been doing church wrong. I know that "church" is not a building, but the people in it. As a youth pastor, worship leader and missionary, I cannot tell you how many times I have said that and I truly do believe it, but I fear I have been doing things wrong. You see I believe I have made church too complicated. I have striven to make things perfect. I have striven to make relationships perfect. And the truth of the matter is they can't be because of sin. But the one thing that covers up sin is love. The love that came to us from the cross. The love that God commanded us to give to others, yet I have made things too complicated. Church isn't about the programs. Church isn't even about the missionaries or the sermons or the music. Church is about love.

As Christians we do not get to pick and chose our level of service for the King. It is either all in or all out. Jesus said the EVERYTHING depends upon us loving him and loving others. You cannot be a Christian and not be a disciple. You cannot be a disciple without loving God as your Father. You cannot love God if you are not loving those around you. That is what church is. But sometimes the church does a very poor job at being the church. Sometimes we, myself included haven't loved the way we should. We haven't served the way we should. The excuses are as vast as the drops of water in the ocean, but the fact is we have messed up and the reason why I think we have, is because we have made church too complicated and it scares people off. If a person is a little different and they don't fit into a small group or discipleship model, they are turned off. If we are not loving them for who they are and where they are in life we are not showing them Christ.

I know I have written about this before on the blog, but in the past month my heart has become very broken to the hurts around me. Why? Honestly, because I prayed for it to happen and in Mark 10 Jesus said if we pray and believe, it will happen. So from the back seat of a limo, I prayed that God would break my heart for the people in my life. I prayed that I could in someway feel their pain, either physical, spiritual or emotional so that I would know how to better love. And I didn't stop in the limo. Everyday I wake up and pray that God would put someone's pain on my heart so that I would know how to love on them and pray for them. The past week, I have laid in bed at night and wept for people. People I am close with. People I pass on the street. People I don't even know, but the Lord woke me up and asked me to pray. Through it all, yes there have been moments in the day when I feel tired, but more often than not, I feel stronger, because I have figured out a new way to do church.

Church is a large group of firemen, police officers and paramedics, lining the street to give hope and love to a 6 year old boy who has dreamed of being a fireman.

Church is bringing lunch for a friend just because it is Thursday and people need to eat lunch on Thursday.

Church is a car ride. The destination could be an appointment, a hospital, a store, anywhere, but the conversations in the car are ones that include love, because no matter how bumpy the road to the destination is, the journey can be sweet.

Church is going to a park with a friend just to talk while her children play.

Church is going to Target 5 times in 5 days, because there is always someone who needs to go to Target and going with a friend is a lot more fun than going by yourself.

Church is walking into someone's hurt and doing whatever it takes to bring hope, even if it is going through their trash.

Church is what we make it and friends we need to make it about love. Not about judgement. Not about committees. Not about agendas. Not about worship styles or sermon series or youth programs. We need to make it about love. Because when you open your heart up to literally feel someone else's pain you understand the scriptures more clearly. You understand what Jesus meant when he said, "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." This could mean physically dying for someone, but more importantly it means walking alongside someone because we all need to be loved. The crazy thing I have learned is that as I love others, I feel God's love more in me. I feel Him loving me more. I don't do this to win a prize or to get a pat on the back from someone, I love because it is what my heart longs to do. We were created for it. We were knit together to allow others to know they matter too.

If you are still reading this, first off thank you for sticking with me, but second you may be thinking, "I already know this. You are preaching to the choir." You may be right and I may have just spent this time writing something we all know, but here is one reason why my heart hurts. We all know it, but do we do it. The fact is I can stand up in front of many people who attend church weekly, and say all this, but some of those people, even though they are at church, won't be in heaven someday, because they missed the fact that they had to love. Some people reading this blog right now, won't get to spend eternity with my Jesus, because they missed the point. No one is exempt from this! No one has a "I don't have to love" card. No matter what age you are or how many times you have done a certain part of ministry, you still need to love!! If we miss this, we miss getting to spend eternity in heaven.

This week I have been reading Joshua. As I soak in the story, I wonder if we church members have something to learn from those we place judgements on. Rahab saw two spies and she took them in and hid them. Did she ask a lot of questions? Did she set up a permission form for them to come in? No welcomed them in and because of that her whole family was saved. What did Rahab do for a living? She was a prostitute. She was someone who in my eyes, needed to be shown love. She was one of those "seekers" that we have programs to reach. But not that day, she showed love by opening up her home to two spies and because of that her name is listed in Hebrews 11, the great chapter of faith.

Here is the thing that I am learning (and please understand I am still learnING. I am not perfect) I have made Christianity too complicated and I am done doing that. Jen Hatmaker in her book, "For the Love" says "If you assume an obedient life requires a thousand moving parts, a bunch of church programs, an international movement, a big fancy ministry or a giant platform, let Jesus' description of the kingdom relieve you: small, invisible, humble, tiny seeds, mostly hidden. Faithfulness is not easy, but it is simple. You are already able, already positioned, already valuable in your moral life on your normal street next to your normal neighbors in your normal work...God is big and good enough to lead us all, and together we just might see his kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven."

I want a new outlook on church. I want to simplify the way I serve. Because when it comes down to it, that only thing that matters is love. If we are not loving, we are not His disciples. I will even take it one step further, if we are not loving we are not His children.

Love God.
Love Others.
Nothing else matters.

Bellieve

For the past, I do not know how many years, my path has been intersecting with the path of another person. Through events for common friends or at the church I grew up in, it always seemed that I could count on connecting with my friend Lynette. I have known her for a long time through high school and youth group activities. She was always a welcomed face when I stepped into Community Reformed. A few years ago I was speaking at Community and while I was speaking my eyes connected with hers. I have this a lot during presentations when you can look at someone and see their heart being broken for God's children. I will be honest, it didn't really surprise me, because Lynette is one of those people whose life has been broken and through that, she embraced God's love. I cannot tell you how overjoyed I was when I discovered she was thinking of coming to BG to serve on a team in May of 2016. Seriously when I saw her and another friend of ours Amy at an informational meeting, my heart leaped inside me. I knew that while I was going over some of the things we would do there was something growing in her heart and Amy's. This May they stepped on to BG's campus and served with all they had. In fact most nights they were the last ones back to the house. With every opportunity they had they lavished love on the children, but then they took it one step further, they served the house mothers. One morning I walked into the house they were assigned to and they were scrubbing the kitchen. Amy was standing on the counter scrubbing the top of the cabinets. Lynette was scrubbing the floors in the living area. During this time the house mothers were sitting down and taking a break. It made my heart so happy to see them living kingdom lives. 

As the trip went on a deep friendship was formed. Lynette and I were no longer the type of friends that just said "hi" in passing, but close sisters in Christ. Since being home, Lynette and Amy have continued to serve BG well by using their gifts to help organize a successful 5K (more on this in another blog) and by supporting me and my transition back to Michigan. Lesotho is all about relationships. The Basotho culture care for each other deeply. To me, Lynette is Basotho. Since being home our relationship has grown even deeper through conversations on each other's porches, or at Captain Sundae or a random Saturday drive to Chick Fil A and even a trip to Dutch Village. Lynette is one of those people who looks at you and listens and then prays you through your journey. She continues to blow me away with her faith in the Lord. 

So your question is why am I blogging about her. Honestly I am sure that is her question too and when I see her next she may beat me up for this. Lynette is a survivor. She has beaten breast cancer before and a month ago she found out she has to do it all again after being diagnosed in July. The day she told me, I was pissed and had no issue telling God that either, but since that day, I have been fighting with her, along with many others. You see one should never have to do this thing alone. It was just a few months ago that Lynette was in Lesotho getting her hands dirty for God's Kingdom and through the doctor's appointments and treatments, she still wants to get dirty for the Lord. She didn't want myself and those serving at BG to think they were serving alone. I know and am believing that she will be getting dirty for Jesus for many more years and yes, once again she will be back in Lesotho loving on the kids and staff at BG. 

Lynette and her husband Matt are incredible people. They would stop and help you no matter what. The last thing they want to do is to be served, but now is when they need to be. Many of you have asked what you can do, so I wanted to give you two options. 

1) Pray. It seems simple, but when you take time out of your day to approach our Father and plead for His healing, things happen and I know and believe healing can be done! 

2) Give. An account has been set up for you to donate finically to help cover medical expenses and what I like to call "life" expenses. 100% of the money donated goes directly to the Bell family. Let's come together like the believers in Acts 2 and serve by giving. The link to donate is https://cash.me/$Bellieve. 

Mark 5:36 says, "Do not be afraid. Just believe." That is what I am choosing to do for my sister in Christ, Lynette. As she says, she BELLieves and knows that God is the great healer, provider and her Abba. In Mark 10, Jesus says that if you see a mountain in front of you and have faith your prayers can move it, it will move. Please join me in BELLieving that this mountain will move and God's glory will be seen through the whole Bell family. 

Fully Worshipping through the Journey

“Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you” (Genesis 22:5). Listening to God is a journey. Through listening, He leads you to places of great joy, as well as places of hardship. No matter where He leads you must listen. Abraham did not want to give his only son as an offering, but if he didn’t, he would not be obeying God. He told his servants that he and Isaac were going to worship and then would come back. To me, I see Abraham’s obedience as a heart fully worshipping God. If he didn’t offer Isaac, he wouldn’t be worshipping.

For the past three years, I have been on a journey of pure worship. Listening to God’s plan to serve at Beautiful Gate Lesotho wasn’t too difficult. I have always wanted to be in full time ministry and the Lord lined up a role that allowed me to use many of the gifts He has given me to honor Him alone. I am humbled to see how the Lord has used my acts of worship to bring His love and hope into the world. From holding a child who moments before was laying naked next to a river, or leading a team in experiencing Lesotho for the first time, I have embraced God’s grace and goodness every day.

As Abraham listened to God, I must do the same. The Lord is asking me to step away from my role at Beautiful Gate Lesotho, effective December 2016. This is a hard choice for me to make, but I must be obedient and listen to God, otherwise I am not fully worshipping Him. I am looking forward to serving at Beautiful Gate Lesotho for another 18 months. I couldn’t do this journey without all of your prayers and financial support. I still need to fund my last year with Beautiful Gate, so the journey isn’t over yet.

God provided for Abraham on the mountain and Isaac’s life was spared, because of this Abraham called the place “The Lord will provide” (Genesis 22:14). Currently I do not know what is next, but I know the Lord will provide, but only if I remain obedient to Him. He is my Jehovah Jireh. I covet your prayers during this time as I worship and wait for the Lord to show me the next step in His journey for me.

If you have any questions feel free to email me (christina.terpstra@gmail.com). I would love to share with you all the faithfulness of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Flat or Filled

Yesterday, I woke up ready to face the day. I had a few things on my schedule, but for the most part it was pretty easy day. In the afternoon I went to run some errands, when I left the store I discover, my car had a very flat tire. Let's face it there was no air in it at all. Normally, this would pretty much tick me off. Doesn't my tire know I have places to go and people to see and stuff to get done. I can't just be sitting around waiting for this to get fixed. But yesterday was different. In the morning I spent time reading verses about being still before the Lord. When I picked up my phone to call the tow truck I saw it was 3:45p. I smiled as I felt God's calm rushing over me. The tire was no accidental flat. God needed me to be still. 

A friend of mine was in an appointment at the same time I was waiting in a parking lot for a tow truck. For an hour and a half I was able to sit and pray them through what they were facing. People were texting me asking if I needed a ride, but I was good. I was spending time with my Abba, serving those that needed His strength. After an hour and a half the tow truck came and took me to the tire shop. The best part about it all is I only needed a plug/patch and they didn't even charge me. One more thing that pointed to the tire being flat at that specific time for a specific reason. 

In life there are many things that can knock the wind out of our sails. For me it was a tire. I had a choice. I could let the anxiety and anxiousness overwhelm me and end up getting ticked off, or I could be still. Lately I chose anxiety, but yesterday there wasn't a doubt in my mind why my tire was flat. God needed to still me, so I could serve from my knees. 

Friends, each day we are face with choices. My prayer for you in that you in those moments you choose to be still. It isn't easy, and I will be the first one to tell you I am not good at it, but being still is best. In being still, you are given moments to place your hands before the Lord, completely empty and He will take that offering and fill them. In our moments of "flatness" we cannot only be filled, but overfilled with the peace of Christ. And not only for ourselves, but for others as well. 

"Be still and KNOW that I am God." Psalm 46:10

"please"

I have been sitting on this post for a few weeks now. I will be honest, there are moments in which it is hard to write about my life and job. It is hard to put into words the thoughts and emotions that I have, but I want to share a story with you all and then present you a way to help.

My last day at BG was full of so many emotions. There was the goodbye ceremony, which is always hard for me. The staff are given a time to speak and to hear how much they love and appreciate me is very overwhelming. Then there was the celebration lunch which included great conversation and delicious food served from the back of a car. The afternoon was full of serving the team that was there as well as soaking in every second I could with the kids. I sat on the garden and snuggled with two of "my" boys. It was a very special time with them. As we were sitting there laughing and enjoying each other, one of them looked right into my eyes and said, "I love you soooo much." My heart leaped with joy and sorrow. I hurt knowing that these little guys would not be sitting on my lap the next day and that my arms would feel so empty, but I also knew that God was speaking through him to say, your life will be different, but it doesn't matter, I love you so much. There was peace in that moment. Peace in the stillness of saying goodbye.

One to the traditions at BG is whenever a volunteer leaves, all the other volunteers share a meal. Before we all left for dinner, I went through all the houses to give the kids a goodnight kiss and hug. While in one house I was spending a little extra time with one of our oldest boys. He and I had a special relationship. Because he was older, the social worker asked me to take him on random trips to town, to just expose him to grocery stores and the outside world. Through these trips, his trust for me grew immensely. As he was sitting on my lap and we were talking about cars, his house mother walked through the room and told him I would be leaving the next day. His looked changed. His eyes filled with tears and his face dropped. I started telling him how much Jesus loved him and how much he was loved at BG. He then looked deep into my eyes and said, "Please, I go to America with you. Please." My heart sank for many reasons. First the Basotho culture rarely says please. They don't have a word that directly translates to it. I have been working on it with him and some of the other kids. For him to use it twice in one sentence was huge. Our time together had weight. Then my heart broke because I know how badly he wants a family. He is older and because of this he goes to a different school than the preschoolers. He sees children and their families. He knows he is different. I wanted so badly in that moment to pick him up and take him with me. I wanted so badly to make the hole in his life filled. I wanted to fix it. But I can't. The very hard thing for me, was I couldn't even tell him that I would see him again, because I don't know. I have told that to kids before to help them and me work through my leaving, only to find they have left BG before I got back. I just couldn't give him false hope again. That night I went to dinner with the other volunteers with a heavy heart. His cry for help echoed through my mind.

I wish you could be here buddy. I really do. I know you are safe at BG and being loved so much by the staff and volunteers. I have know doubt that when I left your day didn't change. You are loved by your house mothers and special friends, but I also know how much you want a family. Keep believing, one day you will understand that you are a part of a huge family and your Abba loves you with a love that will never let you down.

There are so many children like this at BG. Kids waiting for a family. I also know that there are families all over the world who desperately want a child from Lesotho to love. Please join me in praying for both sides of adoption. Each has it's own wait. Each has it's own heartache. Each side is hard, but in the waiting there are moments when you hear God's voice and He says, "I love you so much."

If you know someone on either side of adoption, please send them a note today and let them know that there are other people waiting with them.

Dancing

I am back in da mitten. I landed Thursday after two great days of travel and hit the ground running right away. My plane touched down at 10:30 and I had a hair cut at 2, that has to be a record.

Currently my head is spinning with Michigan life, but all is well. I am enjoying seeing friends and family and being back with my 4 legged pal Joey. The last week at BG flew by. I was excited to fill my days with a team from Cross Point Church in Chino, California. The team was full of hard working servants. They did whatever needed to be done in record time, including painting a building in 4 hours. There are many things that stand out with this team, but the most was without a doubt the spiritual maturity of the team members. My favorite time was sitting with them in the evenings and hearing their heart's process what they were doing. They truly reminded why I do what I do. Thank you Cross Point. I am excited to see you guys in September where we can continue the journey. Whip it!!!!

I was excited that I made it home in time for my friend Leah's wedding Saturday. It was a picture perfect day on Mackinaw Island. What a day of celebration!!! I was nervous as I got to the island because I was so tired and I didn't know how I was going through the day, but then I saw my friend Leah and my heart filled with joy for her. After our "hello" I no longer was tired, but excited for whatever the day included. Which included lots of laughter and dancing. At the reception, Leah and I owned the dance floor. All those nights of dance parties in our pjs paid off because we had moves BETTER THAN JAGERS!!!!!!!

Today as I sit and think about what the Lord requires of us, I think back to Saturday. It is easy to see what the Lord wants. He wants us to be with those we love and dance through life. There will be days when your head spins and you don't know what to do, but you need to find moments to dance. You need to find moments to let go and just breathe.

Transition isn't easy. I can't even begin to explain how empty my arms feel and how I long to just hold a child right now, but I am pressing on, because the Lord wants me to dance. Right now I feel like I need to take time to be the child and rest in my Abba's arms.

6 hours

It is winter. The days are cold and more and more children are being referred to BG. In the past 2 weeks we have had six children brought to us, four of which were under a month old. This happens every year. The temperatures go down and the children come in.

Today I went along to pick up a one week old baby. My role was to sit in the back of the car and hold the child. I know what you are thinking, "I have a really hard job." Don't worry, I snuggled him as long as I could. In situations like this, I don't share well.

This child's story is one we have heard time and time again, but because it is winter it gets very serious. This child was abandon shortly after birth and found by two herd boys who brought him to people would could help. The doctor who assessed him knew that the child had to be less than 6 hours old. The reason why "6 hours" is because the child was found naked and could not have survived being outside for any more than 6 hours.

In situations like this I thank God for herd boys who act when they hear a cry. It has happened time and time again where children are found abandoned by herd boys. Even though society views them to have no skill, I see them as acting heroes who are saving the lives of many children.

As we were driving today, our social worker told us a very sad story of the reality of child abandonment. When we passed over a river, she told us that once there was a suit case found floating in it. Inside the suit case were the bodies of three small children. When I hear things like this my heart breaks more and more for the people of Lesotho. I do not know what someone is going through or thinking when they do things like this. All any of us can do is pray. Pray for people to treat their children with worth. Pray that people make good choices if they feel that abandonment is the only option. Lastly pray that more herd boys and/or people walking the roads can find children so they are not out there longer than 6 hours.

Please join me in praying.