Three

Three little caskets.
Three white crosses.
Three babies more alive than me.

Yesterday was an emotional roller coaster of a day.  The morning started off with the funeral for the three babies that passed away earlier this month.  As a staff we walked to the cemetery behind a van which had the caskets in them.  The staff sang hymns and walked hand in hand to a field where the maintenance men and some men from the local village were digging the graves.  It was very hard to see.  In American, when you have a grave side service, the whole already is dug and it usually is covered so you don't ever see the dirt.  In Lesotho, you see the dirt.  As we stood exposed to the hot sun and surrounded by dirt, I couldn't help but think about how dirty death is.  Death opens up wounds that you thought were helaed.  Death is a goodbye is which you don't want to say.  Death is a reminder of the goodbyes you have said before that you continue to miss.

In Lesotho culture, all the women through flowers into the grave after the casket has been lowered.  As I looked into the grave and saw the little casket, my heart sank.  Inside that box was the body of a child whose life was too short.  I really felt no emotion, other then numbness.  After the ladies out the flowers in to the grave the men fill the hole.  This was the hardest part for me.  As the dirt pounded on the small casket, my body wanted to jump into the hole and take the child out.  How could we just throw dirt on top of God's little children?  (I am so thankful we don't have to see that part in America.)  As we walked back to Beautiful Gate, I looked over my shoulder and saw the three white crosses lined up, then I remember a quote from a service I attended once.  "The person who is most alive in this room, is the one in the casket."  The three babies whose bodies we buried are more alive than you or I today.  They are free from the world's heartaches and are worshipping with the King of kings.  I walked away quiet, knowing that those who have gone on before me are more alive than me and one day I will see them again.  My heart still misses them, but I grieve with HOPE. 

After a nice lunch of papa and mince stew (Lesotho's ham on buns) I took some time to check in with the staff.  They were all blown away seeing me in a skirt (I know I wore a skirt) and loved joking about it.  During the afternoon we received two new children.  My heart went to a familiar song "You give and take away.  My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be Your name."