America

I have been back in Michigan for a week now and I have to say there are moments I feel completely lost.  Overall, I am enjoying my time here and loving the opportunities I have had to share my experience with others.  Seeing family and friends who show genuine love for my returning has been awesome.  Being able to worship at Haven on Sunday was an indescribable experience.  As I stood in front of the church and read from the Bible, I looked up and saw the faces of people who have supported me, encouraged me and wrapped their arms around me in love.  I have never been a person that has been uncomfortable speaking in large groups of people, but on Sunday morning when I looked up at the faces filled with love, my heart began to race and tears filled my eyes.  In that moment, I was home.

People have been asking me how the transition is going, and for the most part it is okay.  I do have moments, when I get very anxious and overwhelmed by everything around me and just want to become a hermit for awhile, but I am praying through those moments and God is giving me strength.  In Lesotho, when you are having a conversation with someone, a lot of times you hold their hand to show that you are connected to them and focused on what they are saying.  There have been moments in Michigan when I have wanted to just hold someone's hand so I could feel that connection again.  Another thing I miss are the 73 pairs of hands that would reach up to me and want to be held.  I am discovering that I love being around people that have children, just to hear their laughter and little voices.

One huge blessing I have right now is the place I live.  Two very dear friends of mine demolished their basement and built me a space that is full of love.  When you open the door to go down to it you are greeted by the beautiful eyes of "my" little guy as his picture is hanging on the wall.  There are also pictures of other children that are hanging around the room and every time I look at them, I am motivated to keep on sharing their stories.  Their voices need to be heard.  The space is so safe, and calming.  In the moments when I feel overcome by the world, I go down there and my whole body relaxes.  I can never begin to express of special this space is and how great it feels to still live in community with people who understand the call God places on your live. 

Overall, it is good to be back.  Of course there are things that get overwhelming, but seeing those around me that love me and cheer me on everyday is a great way to build me up right before I start traveling and speaking.  I am ready for the next step of the journey.  I want to share the stories of the children and staff and show the world how beautiful Beautiful Gate is.