"I Know"

On my fridge hangs a card and everyday I walk past it and smile.  On my trip to Beautiful Gate, in October of 2011, I was having an extremely emotional last day.  The whole trip I felt like I was sitting right in the palm of God's hand.  The second I got off the plane, I took a big deep breath of the African air and felt free.  While serving at Beautiful Gate, I felt peace.  Peace in going back and serving.  Peace in leading devotions with the team.  Peace in connecting with the staff at BG by hearing and seeing their hearts for these precious kids.  Most importantly, I felt peace in myself.  Peace that I was doing what I was suppose to do. 

The last day of the trip I had to say the emotional goodbyes.  I wasn't sure if I would ever be back at BG or when I would be back which children would still be there.  Saying goodbye to the kids is SO hard.  Unless you have done it, I am not sure you can know the grief that goes with it.  There was one goodbye that I did not want to make.  I did not want to say goodbye to my friends Bryan and Anita.  Throughout the trip the three of us had conversations that connected our hearts together in ways that we couldn't have imagined.  Anita, Bryan and I went to church together and knew who each were, but never really had a relationship until 2009 when Anita and I went to BG together for the first time.  It was then, that God broke our hearts for the things the break His and we became sisters in a journey.  Bryan joined the journey with us, when he visited BG while I was there on my 4 month stay.  Throughout the 2011 trip, we laughed, cried and lived a life that not many people understand or choose not to understand.  During our last morning together I did not want to say goodbye to the people who understand the brokenness of my heart.  As a team we gathered to pray, it was the first time of the trip I had to ask someone else to lead in prayer, because I couldn't get any words out.  We drove to the airport and then had to give each other that last hug.  As I started walking away, Bryan and Anita's daughter Faith handed me a card.  I didn't read it until I boarded the plane.  I opened up the card and written in the hand writing of a 6 year old who looks at life with God's glasses it said...

"Dear Miss Terp, I know you will be back to Africa. Have fun in Michigan. Love Faith."

 

 

I hung this card up to remind me that God has a plan and He spoke it to me through Faith's card.  At that time, there was no North Ambassador position for BG.  But through much prayer and dreaming by many people, His plan was formed.  Right now I am in a holding pattern, but in this time, I am taking Faith's advice to "Have fun in Michigan."  Right now I am raising my funds for the new position, but while I am doing this, I do not want to miss the experiences God has for me here.  I don't want to over look the conversations about life with people I have met along this journey. I do not want to miss the opportunity to make dinner for a friend. I do not want to miss talking with a friend whose heart breaks for the same things as me, but she serves differently by opening her home to children.  I do not want to miss the hours I spent this summer in a lawn chair laughing and dreaming about life with a friend.  I do not want to miss the moments of pure worship that I have with God, because it is in these moments that He is preparing me for things only He can. 

 

For the past 2 weeks, almost every time I get in my car, I hear the same song.  Sunday night in church, we sang that same song.  Today I prayed through the lyrics.

 

The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes

Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

 

Through God's grace, may I continue to sing like NEVER BEFORE, because God knows His plans and His plans are great!

 

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