One thing my time in Africa taught me was the process of loosing myself. I have to tell you that the process of loosing yourself can't be done in 4 months, it is a daily process where you have to surrender the person you created yourself to be and embrace the one God created you to be. Loosing yourself allows God to be in control and requires trust.
One thing that really stuck out to me with the children at BG was how much they trusted you. When you picked them up to hug them, they would snuggle into your arms and not let go. They trusted you to care for them, love them and simply just be with them. Now, because of their past, a lot of the children had a need to fight to survive, even though at BG they were completely taken care of. It was in those children that you claimed a huge victory when they trusted you. They too, were in a process of loosing who they created themselves to be due to horrible circumstances, rather than who God created them to be. When they ran up to me and yell, "ausey Boostina...knuckles," and put their little fist up, I celebrated. It was in those moments, that I felt God smiling on me.
I pray that I can continue to loose myself to Him daily. Honestly, I am having more culture shock coming back home, than I did going to Africa. Daily I am learning to let go my sense to fight, look up at my Abba Father and say, "knuckles."
I read this scripture this morning and thought of you:
ReplyDelete"We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the first-fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do note yet have, we wait for it patiently." Romans 8:22-25
I thought of all those precious little ones at Beautiful Gate who are waiting for their forever families. How their lives are full of brokenness and pain, and yet, they are in a safe a loving place while they wait and expect with hope that their family will come. We, too, are living in times of brokenness, eagerly awaiting our adoption as sons & daughters when Christ comes again. Come quickly, Lord Jesus!
Love you friend! Amy
Terp, I absolutely understand how coming home is harder. Reverse culture shock takes more out of me everytime. I would love to chat with you some time. Give me a call or email me and we'll chat. Or send me your phone number. Cheers.
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