A few weeks ago, I was having "one of those days." It was a day at BG when everything did not go as planned. We received three new children on three separate cases and I had an unexpected trip in to town that took me away from my normal duties. Most of the time, I can handle days like this, because they happen a lot, but this day something wasn't right. I struggled to focus on anything and it felt like I was being pulled in about 15 different directions. There were many times I found myself looking at the clock hoping for 4pm to come so I could go home. I am not proud of days like this, but they happen. No matter how long you are in a different country, sometimes days of culture shock just happen and there is not much you can do other than to just put your head downed get through it.
At 3pm, I went into town with some volunteers to treat some children knowing that when we got back, my day would be done. While in town, I enjoyed the one on one time with a special little guy. As we pulled into BG, my phone rang and it was someone looking for me. They needed a driver to pick up one of our children who was in the hospital recovery from surgery. Like most days, even though the clock says 4p, the work is not done, so I quickly jumped into the car. I was frustrated. The events of the day paired with the fact that I would be driving through the busy part of town during the busiest part of the day made my attitude pretty negative. When I got to the hospital I realized that through all of the hustle and bustle of rushing out of BG so I would get to the hospital in time, I forgot to bring the clothing for the child with me, so I had to call BG and ask for someone to come and bring it. While I waited for the clothes to be delivered, I just sat and held the little baby. I tried to calm my heart by praying and looking at this precious bundle that was trusted into the care of BG. My insides were still upset, but holding this precious one made things a little better. Those moments reminded me why I do what I do and that no matter what the events of the day are, I am wrapped in the arms of my Abba, just like the child was wrapped into mine. The clothes were dropped off and I was able to get home around 7pm that night. There was no energy to process the day, I just went to bed.
Last week, God chose this little child to enter eternity with Him. They are no longer wrapped in our arms, but the arms of an eternal, hopeful, sovereign Lord who never left them while they were on earth. This fact is not only true from this precious child, but for all of us. There may be moments when we feel abandoned and like many of are children here, so of us have been abandoned, by earthly people, but God NEVER abandons us. He is always with us. He was with this baby for their first breath and He was with them for their last. On days when you feel frustrated and it seems like the world is "winning" each moment, God is right there with you in that moment, loving you through it. During those moments when your heart is bounding and you just want to give up, He whispers in your ear, "I am holding you in my righteous and compassionate hand. I love you my child. You are not alone." It has been 3 years since we had a child pass away at Beautiful Gate. Each moment of those years, the Lord was with us, whispering in our ears, "You are mine. I am here." And last week, He wrapped His arms around us tighter and said, "I am still here and I am grieving with you."
Please pray for the staff at Beautiful Gate. This child's life may have been short, but they had weight. No matter the situation of how they came to BG or what the person felt who could no longer care for them, they mattered to us.
On the same day Beautiful Gate laid this child to rest, a family from Canada picked up their new daughter. All in the same day we experience sadness and joy. I personally am so excited for this family and child, since I have known them for years now. In both of these situations, the Lord has and continues to wrap his arms around all of us and hold us close to Him.