leap of faith

I can't thank you all enough for everything you have done for me. Your support both financially and spiritually showed me how BIG my God is!!!

I have been home for five days now. I have to say it is weird. Things are in the same place, but everything feels different. Things I enjoyed doing, I no longer do. I love being with my family and friends again, but I also miss the children at BG. I love being home, but I am learning that home is different.

When leaving for BG, I saw this as a leap of faith, quitting my job, leaving home, friends, family and going to serve in Africa. Since being home, I have realized each day we have here on earth is a leap of faith. You don't have to go across the world for God to stretch you. You can hear Him right here. God has a path and plan laid out for each of us and us choosing to trust Him in all things is a huge leap of faith.

Yesterday a friend of mine was given news that requires a "leap of faith" attitude. As I talked to her yesterday and today, her faith is her anchor. The odds are against her, but she knows how big her God is. (To read more of her story visit her blog http://www.verbeekblog.com/) PLEASE join me in praying for a miracle for Lindy, Dustin, Brooklyn, Maxwell and Samantha!!

The children at BG, taught me so much about trust and love. I will never forget the way their hands naturally held mine wherever we went. I will never forget that by just picking up a crying baby and holding them close you could feel them relax. I will never forget the sound of 30 children yelling, "ausey boostina, ausey boostina." They all have the "leap of faith" attitude, without even knowing it. Some of them have fought to survive and they have won!!

I have so many cherished memories at BG. I loved my 4 months there. God gave me a gift by allowing me to go and serve. I didn't serve, as much as I took in from the people around me. May God receive the glory the great things HE did in Lesotho.

Everyday is leap of faith...where is God calling you to trust Him and jump?

See you Later

So I just put all the kids to bed for the last time. It was pretty hard. I decided to say goodbye to them tonight, instead of in the morning, so I wouldn't feel so rushed. One of the boys told his house mother he wanted me to sleep with him tonight, since I was going to America in the morning. I got into his cot, but there wasn't enough room for him, so he kicked me out.

Friday I was taking the children for a walk outside of BG. One of the older girls found it really fun to take her foot and slam it down on the dirt road to make a definite footprint. I decided to join her and after a few minutes all of the children were doing it. It made me think what footprint did I leave in Lesotho? What part of God's bigger plan did I play? I am not really sure, but I do know that Lesotho, BG and the people I have met have made a huge imprint on my heart and I will never be the same.

Tomorrow I start the long journey back, but I pray someday I will be back to BG and Lesotho. I pray I can take others with me and introduce them to the beautiful people that are here. Anyone up for a trip with me?

Please pray for a safe journey back home. I leave here at 5am (Michigan time) and if everything goes according to plan, I will land in GR Tuesday at 1pm. Some of you have asked if you could meet me at the airport. You are more than welcome too. I will be having a quiet night with my family after the airport, but you all are invited to see me at the airport. Your prayers and support have been a HUGE asset to this "leap of faith" and I would love to celebrate with all of you!!!

Love and Hugs from Lesotho!!!

A new face

I would just like to take a moment and introduce you to one of the newest members of the BG family. She is approximately 6-9 months old and was found in a forest alone. She is a very quiet girl, but since coming to BG has improved a lot, by making eye contact with people, acknowledging when someone calls her name and letting everyone know when she is ready to eat.

The director of BG gave her the name Christina.

The List

Sunday I was playing with the children after nap time. I sat with a 6 year old girl on my lap and she was going through "the List". This is something the older children do when a volunteer leaves or a child gets adopted. She said the names and I said where they are. "Neo...Canada. Thabo...Sweden. Leah...America" My friends Lindsey and Lindsay were added to the list since they left on Friday. But then she said my name, something she never had done before, "Boostina" and I said, "soon America." She then got up and ran away crying. When I caught her, she kept saying, "Boostina no America!!! Maseru!!!!" (Maseru is the captial of Lesotho.)

I am learning how hard it is for people to leave on the children. I wonder if my time here is a good thing or a bad thing for them. Yes, I am here for 4 months and have played with them, laughed with them, made their breakfast, and kissed them goodnight, but soon I will leave and they will have to adjust again. For the most part they are fine after someone leaves and after a few days they don't go through "The List" anymore and every time they do they forget about someone. So life does go on. I just feel bad that in 20 days I will be leaving them and their will be no more volunteers to go through "The List" with them.

A huge part of me is VERY ready to go home. I need to process the things I have gone through. I need to be able to go some where to just sit and think about everything I have seen and had my heart broken because of them. The past 2 days I have hit a point where my heart just can't take anymore. I have held a 7 day old baby that was found in a toilet pit, where the bugs had already started feeding off from his face and shoulders. I have seen things and heard noises that make you stop in your tracks. I LOVED my time in Lesotho and I know that when I get home and I am going to want to come back, but right now I need to breathe.

The thing is I feel really guilty about typing that. I need to breathe and have a break, but these children never get a break. They are here and this is their life. They are orphans. I am so glad that they are in a place where they are taught about the One who will not leave them as orphans (John 14:18). He will never leave or forsake them (Duet 31:6). Nothing can ever separate them for His love (Romans 8:38-39). He is the Father to the fatherless. (Psalm 68:5) Because of these promises it will be easier to give them the final kiss goodnight.

I may only be here for 20 more days, but a part of me will never leave Lesotho.